she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
