for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
