there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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