they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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