i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
