made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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