my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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