We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
MIDGETS
????
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
