Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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