Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i used baking grease as lip gloss
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
You're like the curious george of whores
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
