dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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