The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
No subtext here. People are naked.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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