I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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