I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
