It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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