We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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