Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
