I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
