I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize