exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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