she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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