I think i peed on brittanys purse
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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