But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
