Swine flu. Run for my life!
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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