when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
