That's intense
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
