i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
