Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
