32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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