are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
