handjob tips. give me some.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
