Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
