I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
