I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
