Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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