need another drink. this is the easiest way
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
She announced her abortion via fbk
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
