Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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