Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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