i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
