Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
