I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
