I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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