I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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