you would pick up someone in the library
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Randomize
