I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
