Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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