Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
3pm strippers are depressing
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
