I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
