she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
