A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He better not be in your backpack
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
we're so committed to being not committed
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
