I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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