Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
