I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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