Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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