haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
