Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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