I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Randomize
