I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Randomize
