Someone shit on the floor
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
