I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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