i would punch a child for taco bell
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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