Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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