make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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