She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
