"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
nutella sex= disaster
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Randomize
