omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
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